


A Stupid Death Myth

by MyCatIsabella



Category: Original Work
Genre: Abortion, Absurd, Attempted Abortion, Comedy, Creation Myth, Dark Comedy, Death, Drama, Family Drama, Gen, Goddesses, Gods, Mythology - Freeform, No Dialogue, Pregnancy, Religion, Short, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-19
Packaged: 2021-03-27 20:53:39
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30128673
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyCatIsabella/pseuds/MyCatIsabella
Summary: An old assignment I did in class, but I liked it, so I'm posting it
Relationships: Original Female Character & Original Male Character, Original Female Character/Original Male Character





	A Stupid Death Myth

**Author's Note:**

> [My Linktree](https://linktr.ee/jokocreates)

Once upon a time, the concept of creation and birth was born through a nameless goddess, who takes the shape of the earth, and subsequently produced life, such as humans, animals, and plants, and she did a fairly okay job at ruling over the population.

However, a couple of problems arise: one is that the mortal population is growing too fast and big, and they’re starting to fall off the edge of the earth and pile up on each other. Two is that the goddess decides that creating just beings that only a finite amount of time to live is starting to get a little boring and suffocating for her, literally, so she decides to take her creation skills to the next level by creating a god.

The goddess’ logic is that if there’s another god around, that god can help with ruling and controlling the mortal population, can take some of the workload off, and as a bonus, the goddess gets to flex about asexually producing a being who is equal to her. Thus, the goddess became pregnant with a male god.

When the goddess’s third term is near the end, however, she realizes some things that she should have probably thought about when she became pregnant. Firstly is that, unlike mortals, who have each other to take care of and are fairly independent beings, the goddess is going to have to put direct effort and care into raising a baby god and get in touch with her maternal instincts (which you’d think that a goddess whose primary trait depends on birth and creation would inherently have), and the goddess just doesn't have that sort of time and energy to put into motherhood. Second is that there’s no guarantee that the god will listen to her, unlike mortals who just act like a bunch of sheep, the god is going to be an equal to the goddess and may have some disagreements with her, which can potentially lead to fights of epic proportions that could destroy the universe.

In a moment of panic, the goddess tries to intentionally miscarry herself through unspeakable means, but the god pops out during one of the attempts, much to her dismay.

The god, who was listening to the goddess’ fears and panic while he was in her womb, decides to avoid conflict by making a deal with her. The god states that he will kill the surplus mortal population for the goddess and not get mad at her attempts to abort him, if he can have his own realm where the dead mortals can go to, and if she admits that she’s a bad mother.

The goddess is fine with adhering with the former request, but is slightly offended by the latter, and states that she’ll only give the god his realm, but nothing else (way to avoid the conflict you tried to kill your unborn baby over). The god, however, is compliant, and promises that he will kill the surplus population immediately through his own methods, much to the goddess’ surprise and relief.

Once the god gets his own realm, everything seems to go back to normal, except not really, because there is a plague that struck the mortals, which is obviously the god’s method to decreasing the mortal population. Here’s the problem: the disease is of the slowly killing variety, so it is extremely painful and excruciating, and takes forever to kill the victims with. It is so agonizing to deal with, that the mortals are turning to suicide just so they could end the pain.

In a serious situation like this, you would think that the leader would show some semblance of concern for their dying people. But no. In actuality the goddess is quite happy with the arrangement because she’s getting something out of it. Her satisfaction is short lived, however.

The dying mortals begin to forsake their worship of the goddess and call her an incompetent, neglectful, reckless ruler (all true), which only increases the suicide rates on earth. Their reasoning is that if the mortals are going to be ruled by a careless, unhelpful ruler who’s ignoring their suffering, what’s the point of living on this earth, maybe the new guy who’s now ruling that new afterlife place will do a better job than this hack, they’re dying a slow and painful death anyways, so why bother to continue living at all.

When the goddess starts losing both her subjects and their respect, that’s when she starts to panic and take action. The goddess runs to the new realm and asks if the god can stop making the mortals hate her and killing them with a debilitating disease. 

The god states that one, he didn’t make the mortals turn against the goddess, she did that to herself. And two, why should he stop at all, because the god is receiving new subjects to rule over, who already like and respect him more than the goddess. Although, the god states that it wasn’t a very high bar to pass in the first place.

The goddess impulsively exclaims that she will do anything if the god can just change his method of mass killing the mortals, which the god agrees to. His terms are that he gets to kill half of the mortal population instead of the surplus that was promised earlier, so he can have more subjects to rule over, and that the goddess will not only admit to being a bad mother, but also to being a bad ruler and deity.

The goddess initially attempts to protest against the terms, saying that it would be cruel to kill off that many mortals and that she will not admit to doing something that she didn’t do. The god fires back by saying that the goddess should stop being in so much denial and face the consequences for her actions, because if she keeps this up, her irresponsibility will inevitably put the state of the universe in grave danger. The god also said that it wouldn't be cruel to kill off the mortals if he’s freeing them from the goddess’ horrible reign, and that it’s pretty interesting that only now does she think that killing off the mortals would be cruel. Only now when she’s losing their respect and worship.

After some more back and forth that nearly destroys the god’s realm, the goddess finally admits to her faults and cries so much that it starts to rain heavily on earth. After the goddess returns her realm, the god contemplates two things: one is that if the goddess is crying this much and keeps it up for much longer, she’ll essentially be killing off the mortals for him by drowning them. Second is how pathetic the goddess is for being so thin skinned and careless, and how everyone in the universe is totally screwed because of it.

**Author's Note:**

> [My Linktree](https://linktr.ee/jokocreates)


End file.
